No Doubt - Simple Kind of Life
From the album "Return Of Saturn"
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife
I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down
Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?
I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait, the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad
Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
...
So..... yeh, I got to meet TR's kids and his ex. OMFG. I was so not ready for that. I thought I was. I thought I could handle it. I thought wrong.
Most of the way back, I cried. Like I said, in all essence, the trip was perfect. His ex didn't give me shit, neither did her mom who I guess was pretty harsh on TR the last time he was there. The kids, according to him, were very well behaved and they warmed up to me pretty quick. His youngest already knowing my name and pointing me out when asked where I was. (Smart I tell ya) It was cool. But on the way back, all these other emotions came rushing at me at once. FB had called (another story for later) and had asked me how I felt and with the whole situation... that I must have been uncomrfortable.
Yes. I was. And the flood gates opened...
TR knew that such a trip would either strengthen or weaken a relationship. FB said the same... TR was hoping that it would strengthen it... He asked me what I thought... I told him honestly that I didn't know... I still don't know what to make of the whole thing. "Uncomfortable" is just one of the of the emotions I am feeling. He's afraid that this may be what finally breaks us up. He may be right... Shit happens.
Talked to Tita today. She had stopped by to check on me. She had heard about my trip and thought I might need a hug. I did. 
It's weird to hear the thoughts that I was trying to sort come out of someone else's mouth. She understood exactly what I was conflicted with as she is going the exact same thing with her bf, HB, who has a son of his own. It's not the kids, it's not the exes, it's just the package. It's a package deal. It's a lot of responsibility. It's a lot to take on. It's a lot to take in. It's a lot of pressure... It's just a lot. Period.
Instant mom. Instant grown up.
Just add TR...
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